It's the end already...

So I developed this work crush.

No big deal. You can't "shit where you eat" (or where you sit, whichever you prefer) so it didn't really matter anyways. But...since I got somewhat, sort of, kind of promoted, I see this person a lot more than I ever had and I Notice him more too. Do you know what I mean? Constantly wondering if you are somewhere where he can see you, what he thinks, when you will see him again, how you can manage to talk to him, if you will find something good to say so that he wants to talk to you again, if he will like the way you look when you walk away from him, how does your hair look, does your top look right with the pants you are wearing, do you look like you are trying too hard, are you trying enough, does he see you looking at him, does he care or even notice that you are looking at him, does he try to be around you on purpose, does he want to get to know you better....

I'm so busy at work now I hardly have time to think about anything but what I'm doing (refreshing, since I usually overanalyze EVERYTHING) and yet I still find time to go into the bathroom every time I'm about to cross by where he works. Just to make sure no hair is out of place, my shirt is sitting on me right, my makeup is still on enough to hide the circles under my eyes from staying up way too late and getting up way too early...

the other night...

snow...in massachusetts, what they call a noreaster? is that even how you spell it? no matter what, it is about 2 feet short of what people in Pennsylvania call a snow storm, but it is enough up here to make the world stop. everything gets a little crazier. they cancel school way too early, people get stuck on the roads, and by 6 o'clock the traffic is thicker than it would be in new york city if there was only one lane. it gets crazy up here.

I left work late that day. No point in rushing to get home since everyone in the world was already doing that. When I left it was dark and quiet and the snow was falling still and the world just felt so peaceful. I was cleaning off my car when he walked out, and my heart started to race. What are the chances that out of anyone, my work crush comes outside when I am about to go home. It has never happened before but it couldn't have happened at a better time. It was just us. And the snow. He tried to throw a snowball at me (we had hardly even had one conversation before) and then helped me clear my car off. Looking for whatever chance I could to spend more time with him and get to know him better, I helped him clean off his car too. Eventually it was time to go but...

Today it was different. Like we had always been friends. Constantly running into each other and finding things to learn about each other. He's pretty cute, but he shaves his facial hair a little crooked. I noticed that right away. Maybe I'll get him a ruler for Christmas.

Then tonight I found him on myspace. Didn't really think he would be there, but he was. And doesn't myspace tell it all. Homeboy has a girlfriend. 7 years going strong.

Looks like work crush is a done crush.

Ah, well, it was fun while it lasted. A great 2 days.