So I graduated college three years ago and I am finally not a sandwich maker or a temp or a receptionist.

Finally.

Somehow the path to where I am now led me from Erie, Pennsylvania to The Middle of Nowhere, Pennsylvania to Worcester, Massachusetts. So random, and yet somehow I feel so at home now. My adult life has really started in Mass...My first "real" job, my first apartment on my own, my first car payment. These roads are more familiar to me now than the ones I grew up on.

There are a lot of things I have to figure out up here though. I've been through a few serious relationships and now I'm 25 and single. That's a lot to think about right there. 2007 has been an off year for me in terms of man choice. I've been wrong on my picks every time. Maybe I have bad taste (Do we all have a "type"? I might need to change mine...) or maybe I am just settling because I feel like I'm at the age where I want to start settling down. (But for some reason when I get close to settling down with someone I crave my space so much I pull away from them.)

It's hard to try to make a life for myself with my family so far away, too. Some live in New Jersey, some are still in PA. Even though the distance improves our relationships in so many ways (I haven't fought with my little brother since 2002!), it also puts a gap that I don't feel comfortable with. My brother was driving for 6 months before I ever got in the car with him. My nieces crawled, walked, and talked without me there. My dad is getting older and I don't have him in my life everyday.

So I guess growing up is all about learning and sacrifice. And hopefully if I do enough of both I will be able to figure out the best way for me to fit, make a difference, and make things really count in this great big world.

First Time

I've never done this before. This blog thing. It's one of the hundreds, maybe thousands, of times in my life that I have tried something new, and I get the same exact feeling every time. A nervous excitement, whether I'm interviewing for a job or buying a new car or picking out a new kind of cereal...no matter how silly or extreme the situation, those nerves are always looking to activate.

About a month ago I caught a glimpse of a blog written by someone I went to high school with. She was going through a really rough breakup and writing about it everyday and after about a week of reading it I was hooked. Everyday when I'm at work and I have a second free I look up her blog and see what she's up to. I feel like it's a cross between reading a diary and watching a soap opera, and I could do both anytime.

Today I was reading hers and thinking to myself how great it must feel to be able to get things off your chest on such a regular basis. Like going to confession without having to be Catholic or attend church. The only problem for me is that I'm doing my confession while I'm at work...on the clock...and at a desk where anyone can sneak up behind me if their footsteps are quiet enough. (I have two other internet windows open just in case to hide my new little secret.)

So I'm going to try it. This blog thing. It sounds interesting and will hopefully give me something productive to do during my lulls during work.

We'll see how it goes.